Thirty old Appalachian rules, from the voice that calls your name from the treeline to the last rule nobody would say out loud. Each comes with its lore and a story about the one who broke it. You get the 150-page illustrated book as a PDF, a phone edition with bigger type, and the full audiobook read by me.
Ask anybody with mountain roots and you'll hear it. Don't whistle after dark. Don't answer when your name comes from the woods. Don't open the door to a knock at three in the morning. These rules were said at kitchen tables and on porches, half as a warning and half as a habit.
They were almost never written down. They came out of Scots-Irish, German, Cherokee and African American traditions meeting in hollers where the nights were long and help was a long way off. When the people who knew them are gone, the rules tend to go with them.
So I gathered thirty of them into one book. For each rule I lay out where the belief comes from and what folks said it guarded against. Then I tell a story about the one who broke it. It's meant to be read aloud, the way these rules were always passed on, and at the end there's room to write down the rules your own family taught you.
Seventeen chapters and thirty rules, grouped the way the old warnings were: the voice, the door, the window, the trail, the hunt, the mine, the water, the holler, the children, and the protections. Every rule comes with its lore and a story.
Click a page to see it full size.
The audiobook is included at no extra cost. I read the whole book, 2 hours and 25 minutes of it. You get one file per chapter, so you can pick out a single rule for the porch or the car, and one file of the whole book for a long night.
A sample from chapter one, read by Mark Robertson.
Real comments from Appalachian Horrors's videos on YouTube.
“GREAT STORIES WITH PITCURES . THANK YOU 🎉”— YouTube viewer, on Appalachian Horrors
“Creepy. Never good when the dog dies. Great stories, super pictures! thanks”— YouTube viewer, on Appalachian Horrors
“Your stories are so real sounding! Thanks!”— YouTube viewer, on Appalachian Horrors
“Being indoors before sunset is a very good rule, really anywhere on this planet. Common sense really. Monsters hide in the dark, and in dark places.”— YouTube viewer, on Appalachian Horrors
I'm Mark Robertson, and I tell stories on Appalachian Horrors: the woods after dark, the things folks saw and wouldn't talk about, and the old warnings that went with them.
The comments taught me something. Again and again, people write about the rules they grew up with, the things a grandmother or an uncle said you just don't do. I wanted those rules in one place, with the lore behind each one and a story to make it stick.
This book is that place. I wrote it to be read aloud, the way these rules were always passed on. I've left room at the end for your family's rules, because those are worth keeping too.
“These rules were never written down. They were said once, firmly, and you remembered.”
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Read it, listen to it, read a rule or two aloud at night. If it isn't what you hoped for, reply to your purchase receipt within 7 days and I'll refund you in full. No hard feelings.
Anything that opens a PDF: a phone, tablet, laptop or desktop. The phone edition has smaller pages and bigger type, so it reads comfortably on a small screen without zooming. You can also print the PDF.
You'll receive the download right after you buy: the PDF, the phone edition and the audiobook files.
It runs 2 hours 25 minutes and I read it myself. There's a file for each chapter and one file of the whole book.
It was written to be read aloud. Some stories involve death, graves and frightening encounters, so use your judgment with younger listeners.
Reply to your purchase receipt and I'll sort it out.
No. It's a digital book, so nothing comes in the mail. You get the PDF, the phone edition and the audiobook as downloads you can open on your phone, tablet or computer. If you'd like paper, you're welcome to print the PDF at home.
It's easy. Tap the buy button on this page, enter your email address and your payment details, and confirm. That's it. Your download arrives in your email right away, and you just tap the link to open the book or play the audiobook. If you get stuck anywhere, reply to your receipt and I'll help you.
No. It's a single one-time payment of $19.99. There's no subscription and your card won't be charged again.
Don't worry. Your download link stays in your email inbox, so you can search for your purchase receipt and download the book again whenever you need it.
You're covered by a 7-day money-back guarantee. Reply to your purchase receipt within 7 days and you'll get a full refund.
Thirty rules, the lore behind each one, and the stories of the people who broke them, all in one illustrated book with the audiobook read by me. Read it on the porch, play it on a dark drive, and then write down the rules your own family taught you before they're lost. And whatever you do, don't whistle on the way home.
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